Why do men love a “ride-or-die woman”? “She doesn’t get in the way,” one of my buddies told me about his wife. It’s true; she allows him to do the things that cause him to feel like a conqueror and that helps him to feel like she’s going to ride with him no matter what. When a man feels that he has this type of woman, he will go the extra mile to stay committed because he sees her as an asset to his life. And ladies, keep in mind that just because you are in a relationship, doesn’t mean that you’re an asset…many women become liabilities.
Men love to feel like a woman will do something out of her comfort zone for us. In other words, she’ll ride, no matter what. It’s all about the little things that help us keep our heads in the commitment.
How many times have you wondered what a guy is thinking when it comes to dating or being in a relationship? The only way to know is ask-so we did. We approached six men about what they think girls should know about making relationships work.
The Perfect Man Does Not Exist
Let’s just get this one out of the way first. There is no perfect guy. There never has been a perfect guy. There never will be a perfect guy. Stop searching for him, and learn to appreciate more of the imperfect guys that are readily available to you.
Ultimately, the best person for you will have flaws. He may even end up having a ton of flaws. However, the thing to focus on is finding a person that has flaws that are not deal-breakers in the grand scheme of things. Sure they may annoy you from time to time, but over time you can learn to accept and live with them. Who knows, they could possibly even become endearing traits that you miss when the person is away for an extended period of time
Check Your Past Baggage at the Door
If you go into a new relationship carrying the baggage from the last relationship, expect problems. At some point you are going to have to learn to treat all of your new relationships as a clean slate, and stop blaming new guys for things that old guys did to you.
Does this mean that your new relationships will have different results? Not necessarily. Some of them may end in familiar ways, but at least you are giving them a chance to succeed at the start. If things flame out, just learn your lesson and move on to the next guy. Learn to accept the fact that not all relationships are meant to last a long time, but try not to go into them thinking that they are bound for failure.
After all, the bad results could truly be more a result of the types of men that you choose to date or the places at which you are meeting them.
Your Past Does Not Equal Your Present
There are few things that men hate more than being compared to other men. No man in his right mind enjoys hearing about how good your last boyfriend was at anything in life. Very few men enjoy hearing how bad your last boyfriend was at anything. In most cases, men just do not want to hear about your last boyfriend at all.
In addition to becoming annoying, it just ends up making you sound like you have not gotten over your past. In the long run, this will just cause your present to pull away from you. And while you are at it, find a way to either get rid of or hide all the old gifts, cards, and jewelry that may have been given to you. Do you really think your boyfriend wants to see you wearing something that was given to you by another man?
Real Love Is Not on Reality TV
Reality television is killing reality. The things that happen on these tv shows are not real, so please do not expect your man to act like that! Just because The Bachelor is able to go on extravagant dates every night of the week does not mean that your man has a will or a way to make those things happen also. Sometimes instead of expecting a midnight horse and carriage ride, you may have to lower your expectations and appreciate what your man is willing to offer you at the time. After all, sharing ice cream on the porch at night really is not that bad of an idea is it?
It is pretty obvious the damage that shows like Maury can do to your outlook on relationships. By the end of one or two episodes of that show, you will think that every guy that crosses your path has two or three unknown children.
Do yourself a favor and stick to shows that portray relationships in a positive light, or just stay away from television altogether.
correlated: Real Love Vs Fake Love
Be Wary of Your Single Friends
Once you find yourself in a relationship, one of the best things you can do is limit your exposure to your single friends with negative attitudes towards love. Certain single friends are single for a reason, and the more time spent around them is either going to make you long to be single as well or cause you to mistrust your current partner. Chances are these single friends were either involved in shady relationships or they are shady themselves, and extended exposure to those kind of personalities is nothing good in the long run.
Spending time with other couples will allow you to bond with your partner and still interact with other people so you are not driving each other crazy. Over time, you may even be able to ask your single friends to join so they can see that not every relationship is a negative thing.
Understand That People Develop Over Time
Possibly the most important thing to know is that although it takes a while for some men to grow up, it does eventually happen for most of them. Just because your man does not want to have sex with you 5 times a day does not mean that he has lost all interest in you. It does not mean that he no longer loves you. It just means that he no longer wants to have sex that many times. It could also mean that he is physically unable to have sex that many times. Rather than getting mad about it, find a way to discuss it and come to a compromise.
Looking outside of your relationship for an answer, is not the answer. Sure the construction worker down the street or the guy at the nightclub may say things you have not heard in years, but are they still going to be saying those things years down the line? Probably not. Give your guy some credit being there by your side over the years. Be happy for the things he does do for you, and try not to take the little stuff for granted.
Read also Signs He Secretly Likes you More than a friend
If It’s Over, It’s Over
Turning a bad relationship into an emotional roller coaster is a bad idea for everyone involved. If you just cannot get anything productive going with the person you are with, then cut your losses and move on. After all, at a certain point you are just wasting your time that you could be with someone else. Even time by yourself is better than being trapped in a negative relationship.
Keep it honest, keep it respectful, and then keep it moving. Hopefully some part of this helps out on the road to a long, meaningful relationship.
To conclude:
Ladies, I understand that men always want sex and that can be inconvenient for a woman. Some women complain that they love having sex with their man, but they can’t keep up with giving it the way a man needs it-all the time.
When a woman shows frustration, she can cause a man to feel that he isn’t welcome to have what he believes is his. Because he can’t take the cave man approach and drag her into his cave, he may retreat in frustration. This causes a lot of men to pull away over time and want to get out of the commitment where he is faced with such restriction.
Instead of completely turning him away, another approach is for a woman to negotiate without him knowing. Let him know that if he’s willing to wait until the more convenient time, he can have it the way he likes it. This helps him feel like he can have it if he wants, but that she will fulfill his larger desire if he nurtures her needs as well.
As women find themselves at these little crossroads every day in relationships with faithful men, they can keep us engaged in commitment by allowing us the small things that make us feel like conquerors. Remember, just because a guy doesn’t cheat, doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have all the desires of a conquering man.
If you help your man feel like a conqueror, then he’ll be less likely to stray and look for other places or things to conquer. So don’t underestimate the power of the small things. Remember that if it seems small to you, it’s probably big to him.
For more insight into the inner workings of the male species’ mind check out here
Originally published at https://www.relationshiptips.us on October 27, 2020.
